Gaea's

Posts Tagged ‘when is lying allowed’

For those of us who have teenage children, the question of lying or dishonesty is often a problematic one. A recent Cosmopolitan article stated “that all teenagers lie” and suggested that as a parent we should not be too confrontational with our teenage children when this occurs. They said that to confront the teenager on the spot would lead to more aggression and aggravate a potentially already volatile situation. Further suggestions are made to try and deal with that aspect of lying in a more subdued matter such as “dealing with the topic of the moment at a later period when you can discuss the situation when the teenager is in a more receptive state of mind.” We bring our children up to tell the truth, however sometimes now it seems that this lesson is sometimes forgotten when they reach the age of 16 or 17. Confucius is purported to have said “if a man has seven children, he will tell you of the seven different ways of how to raise children”. While it is true for most that the teenage years are turbulent and a time of change, many teenagers and children turn into adults that we, as parents, can be proud of.

There is another truth in life and it is this “we teach other people how to treat us”. Therefore by allowing our children to lie to us at any stage we are condoning such behaviour. What we are in fact teaching is “it’s okay to lie to me or anyone else for that matter if you think I do not need to know the truth.” Many may take the moral high ground and rely on religious teaching to find a benchmark. Many scribes and scholars, rabbis, ministers and priests are divided on this issue. The hardline approach of being black and white is that one shouldn’t lie! However after some further study it is interesting to note that in the old Testament there are a number of situations where one is permitted to lie. Read the rest of this entry »